The Best Ferret Ever!
by Saiyan Princess
Summary: When threats to the Slytherins start appearing around Hogwarts, no one takes them seriously...until Draco Malfoy is turned into a ferret! Can a bratty little white ferret save his fellow Slytherins? Can the teachers handle Draco in ferret form?
1. Animalis-Doloris!

The Best Ferret Ever!  
Chapter One  
Saiyan Princess  
  
This is sort of a rushed first chapter. It will get better...hopefully.  
  
  
  
"Look! Another threat!" called George merrily, pointing to the "sky" of the  
dining room.   
Magical words had appeared. They read:  
"Slytherin, Slytherin, you shall pay for every sin."  
It was the third threat to Slytherin in the past two weeks. Harry glanced   
over at the Slytherin table. They all looked very nervous. Everyone else   
looked amused. Snape was smoldering with ire, whispering angrily to   
Dumbledore, who did not look particularly worried. Ron nudged Harry in the   
ribs and nodded towards the Slytherin table. Draco Malfoy was pointing at   
Harry while talking with the students around him.   
"Great," muttered Harry. "Just what I need."  
  
"This is the only class the Slytherins seem relaxed in," Ron whispered to  
Harry one day in Potions. "I guess they figure Snape is the only teacher   
who would be willing to protect them if they were attacked. Can you imagine  
any other teacher truly trying to save Draco?"  
Harry giggled, imagining McGonagall languidly raising her wand to save Draco  
from the clutches of some horrible monster. Ten points were taken from   
Gryffindor. When the class ended, the Gryffindors hurried out while the   
Slytherins took their time. Snape stood in the doorway and watched them   
until they disappeared down the hallway.  
  
The next morning, Fred and George scurried over to Harry, Ron, and Hermione,  
laughing.   
"Did you hear about what happened in Slytherin last night?" asked Fred, his  
eyes gleeful.  
"No. Was there another threat?" asked Ron hopefully.  
George laughed.  
"A few Slytherin first-year boys woke up the entire house screaming at one  
in the morning. They were so upset Snape had to come over. He searched their  
room for half an hour and found..." George paused dramatically, and gave  
Fred the floor.  
"A cricket," announced Fred.   
Ron and Harry laughed, but Hermione gave them a disdainful look.  
"Even if they are Slytherins," she said, "They're still only first-years.  
Wouldn't you be scared?"  
"Aw Hermione," sighed Fred. "You're no fun."  
  
"Where's Hermione?" asked Ron as they entered the dining room.  
"I don't know," replied Harry. "She might be in the library."  
Everyone sat down, ready to eat, but nervous whispers were heard from the  
Slytherin table.  
"Why are they upset now?" moaned Ron. "There isn't even a threat today."  
Just then, at the teachers' table, Snape stood.  
"Does anyone know the whereabouts of Mr. Malfoy?" he asked gravely.  
Everyone's eyes darted toward the empty chair at the Slytherins' table.   
Pansy Parkinson seemed close to tears.   
"We just saw him Professor," said Goyle. "We were in the owlery. He was   
sending out his owl, but its foot was tangled in some string, and he just   
said he'd be on his way."  
Snape glanced at Dumbledore, who nodded. The Potions Master started to leave  
the table, but Hermione came rushing in.  
"I found this ferret!" she cried, approaching the teachers. "I think it's   
injured."  
The little white ferret in Hermione's hands was trembling stiffly, and its  
eyes were clenched shut. The room became very silent.  
"Miss Granger," began Professor McGonagall. "Where exactly did you find this  
ferret?"  
Hermione glanced around her, confused by the tension in the room.  
"It was near the owlery."  
The room exploded into whispers, but they stopped when Snape reached out and  
took the distraught animal from the bewildered girl. He placed it between   
himself and McGonagall. Haltingly, the little while ferret crawled over to  
McGonagall's plate, raised a paw, and carved "D M" into her mashed potatoes.  
"It is him, Severus," said the Transfiguration expert, her voice loud in the  
hushed room. "I'd bet anything it's Animalis."  
"I'd bet anything it's Animalis-Doloris," Snape replied tersely.   
"Oh no. You're probably right."  
Snape lifted the ferret and left the table, McGonagall in tow.  
"Someone get Poppy," he called over his shoulder. "Tell her we'll need   
blood work done."  
"I'll get her," offered Flitwick, scurrying off.  
"And tell her to hurry," added Snape. "We probably have a Doloris case   
here."  
"Will do. And you have the stuff for that?"  
"Yes. Tell her just to bring the needles and such. Thin needles."  
With that, the three house leaders were gone.   
  
Draco lay trembling in Snape's arms. He had never been in such extreme pain  
before. Agony shot down his four legs and his chest burned with every   
tortured breath. He managed to open one gray eye to see where they were  
going: the dungeon. We're going to Snape's office, he realized.   
"How is he doing, Severus?"  
"Not good. He's starting to hyperventilate."  
Soon they were in the Potions classroom and he was placed on Snape's desk.  
Madam Pomfrey ran in. The pain was getting worse and soon he was gasping   
fruitlessly for air.  
"Breathe boy," ordered Madam Pomfrey, preparing a syringe. "In...out..."  
Snape was gathering various bottles.   
"Minerva," asked the nurse, "would you hold him? Thanks."  
Draco squeaked as a needle stabbed him.  
"I know that hurts. Severus, is that enough blood?" called Madam Pomfrey.  
"That's fine."  
The nurse pulled out the needled and handed the vial to Snape, who put a few  
drops in one concoction and a few in another. After watching for a few   
moments, he sighed.  
"Well, it was obvious anyway, but it is definitely Animalis-Doloris."  
"I guess we should tell him what that means," said Madam Pomfrey.  
The three adults turned towards the ferret on the desk. The women looked at  
Snape.  
"He's your student," McGonagall pointed out.  
Sighing, Snape stepped forward. He had never spoken to a ferret before.  
"Mr. Malfoy, you were given a mixture of two potions. The Animalis potion   
is what turned you into a ferret, and the Doloris potion is causing the   
pain. I have the potions that can cure both of these. However, there is one  
problem. Anti-Animalis and the Anti-Doloris potions counteract each other.   
They have to be taken two weeks apart. It's just a matter of which to give  
you first. I can end the pain, with you staying as a ferret, or I can turn  
you back into a human, with the pain remaining. I think we'd better end the  
pain."  
The ferret nodded weakly. Snape turned away to prepare the Anti-Doloris   
potion.   
"Could one of you weigh him?" he asked.  
McGonagall lifted the ferret and placed him on a cold brass scale. Draco  
whimpered, hating to be moved. While Snape quickly but steadily created the  
potion, Madam Pomfrey retrieved some rags from a nearby supply closest and   
wrapped the shivering ferret in them. Draco hoped the potion would be ready  
soon. The agony was making his head spin. Finally, Snape measured out the   
correct amount of Anti-Doloris in an eyedropper. Madam Pomfrey fed it the   
shaking ferret. The relief was immediate. It felt so good that Draco wanted  
to cry. He took several deep breaths, but when he tried to stand his legs   
gave out.   
"Not so fast," scolded Madam Pomfrey. "Leg weakness is an effect of   
Doloris." She turned to the two house leaders. "Let's take him up to   
hospital ward. I'll tape his legs."  
Draco was carried again, this time to the infirmary. On the way Snape   
explained that he would have attacks of pain randomly in the next two weeks,  
but the pain would become less intense over time.   
  
"They're like little polo wraps," commented McGonagall once Madam Pomfrey   
had finished bandaging Draco's legs.   
"Severus, he's going to need constant supervision. An attack could come at   
any time. I can't do that during the day with all the patients I get. If   
you and your students watch him all day, at least during these first days,   
I can keep him here at night."   
"That's fine."  
"Good. Right now, however, he needs sleep."  
  
Snape and McGonagall entered the dining hall just as dessert was being   
served. Immediately, talk flared up again. Dumbledore silenced the students,  
who looked at the two professors expectantly.   
"Well?" cried a tearful Pansy. "Is he all right?"  
"He'll be fine," replied Snape firmly.  
"Who did it?" called another student.  
McGonagall and Snape looked at each other. They had been so preoccupied with  
Draco that they hadn't even thought about that.  
"We don't know," answered McGonagall.  
  
  
  
  
More to come!  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. The Little White Ferret!

The Best Ferret Ever!  
Chapter Two  
Saiyan Princess  
  
  
  
"How was he?" Snape asked, taking the box from Madam Pomfrey.   
"Not too good," the nurse admitted. "He had two attacks during the night, so  
he's a tired ferret...and I'm a tired nurse."  
Snape carried the box down to his classroom, then went up the kitchen.  
"What do ferrets eat?" he wondered.   
Finally, he decided on a piece of toast and a banana slice. Draco didn't seem  
to mind. He had missed dinner the day before and was famished. After his meal  
he slept some more until Snape's first Potions class started. Once he became  
accustomed to the usual noise (Snape praising the Slytherins and insulting   
the other houses), he fell asleep again.   
  
It seemed that everyone was talking about Draco's transfiguration. Harry had  
heard that he was being kept in Snape's room. For once, he and Ron couldn't   
wait to get to Potions class. All the students glanced around the Potions   
room when class began, but none so eagerly as the Gryffindors. They wanted to  
see their most irritating bully as a ferret. Draco, however, having different  
plans, stayed crouched down in his cloth-lined box.   
"Professor Snape, how's Draco?" asked Pansy in a whiny voice.  
She's worried, Draco realized contently.  
"He's fine, just tired," replied Snape.  
The class sat down, but many of the students were craning their necks in the  
direction of the box on Snape's desk.   
"Is there something wrong with you neck, Weasley?" asked Snape sharply.  
"No, nothing's wrong," replied Ron quickly, looking down at his books.   
  
The students did not get to see Draco-the-Ferret that day, not even when he   
had an attack. Snape calmly grabbed a newly-made bottle of Anti-Doloris,   
filled an eye dropper with it, and lowered his hand into the box. When he   
removed his hand, the eye dropper was empty and the squeaks coming from the box  
had been silenced. Snape stared into the crate for a few moments, then   
continued his teaching. The class was silent for the rest of the period,   
except for Pansy, who had started crying the second she heard Draco's pained  
squeals.   
  
Draco ate lunch (Snape brought him some apple slices and bread), and, after   
making sure the halls were vacant, trotted down to the bathroom, confident   
that he was one of the few ferrets in the world who knew how to use a toilet.  
There were more classes after lunch, and Draco began to bet bored. The wooden  
walls of his crate were not interesting. Finally, during seventh-year Potions,  
he stood up on his still slightly sore hind legs and peeked around the room.  
These were the best Potions students. They were all listening intently to  
Snape's lecture on something that was complex and confusing to Draco. The   
lecture finished and the Potions master told them to get to work. The   
students began making their own potions. Draco watched with growing interest.  
These students used ingredients that were usually locked up because they were  
dangerous. Many, many ingredients were carefully weighed out. These concoctions  
were nothing like the simple potions Draco's class made. Snape watched the  
students carefully. Once he reached out and stopped a girl just as she was   
about to pour in a spoonful of some potion Draco had never heard of in her mix.  
"Teaspoon of Combustron, tablespoon of fire newt egg yolk. Do not confuse the  
two. Anna came inches from inflicting third degree burns to all those within  
five feet of her. Yes, Madam Pomfrey can fix you up, but it's easier to   
simply avoid problems in the first place."  
The rest of the class passed without peril, but was exciting nonetheless.   
  
Once the classes were over for the day, Snape explained that Draco was needed  
for questioning. Draco felt his white fur stand on end. He remembered being   
grabbed from behind...a potion had been forced down his throat. He had never  
been so scared in his life. He didn't know what the potion did. He shook a   
little from fear and wiggled his way under a piece of cloth in his crate.   
  
All the teachers were assembled for the meeting. Dumbledore had conjured up a  
magical alphabet. When Draco tapped one of the floating letters with his paw  
or nose, the same letter appeared on a large piece of parchment on the table.  
He "typed" out everything he knew, but what had happened was still a mystery   
to him, and he couldn't answer many questions.  
"What about footsteps? Did you hear anything?"  
"If there were footsteps, did they sound normal?"  
"How did the hand feel when it grabbed you?"  
"Was it a man's hand, or a woman's?"   
"Does your father have any enemies?" (This question caused laughter.)  
Draco was getting exhausted and frustrated. Finally, Snape asserted that   
Draco had had enough. The ferret displayed his agreement by crawling into his  
box, where he promptly had another attack. The teachers listened to the   
tortured cries in horror. Snape quickly gave his student another dose of the  
Anti-Doloris.   
"Doloris is not something to be taken lightly," Snape claimed, staring   
Dumbledore in the eye. "Until we can find who is doing this, the Slytherins   
need to be protected."  
"Don't worry, Severus. Your students will be safe," replied the headmaster.  
  
  
At dinner Draco ate off his small plate (really a tea saucer) behind the   
teachers' table, out of view.   
  
"As you can see, Mr. Malfoy is still a ferret," stated Snape, confronting the  
crowd in the Slytherins' common room.   
He went on to explain what the potions were doing to Draco, who was sitting   
on an oak table. When Snape had finished his explanation, the students   
wished Draco well and went to bed. Pansy petted his head.   
  
Snape took Draco back to the infirmary, and told Madam Pomfrey about his two  
attacks.   
"He did get a three-hour nap," Snape added.  
"That's good. Hopefully we'll have an all-night sleep tonight," Madam Pomfrey  
replied, taking the ferret crate. Draco fell asleep reflecting on his first   
day as a ferret.  
  
In his office, Snape took out a piece of paper and writing quill.  
"Dear Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy," he wrote. "Yesterday evening your son was turned  
into a ferret."  
Grimacing, Snape crumpled up the letter, and began again. Soon, that letter was  
garbage too. It was going to be a long night. Just how did one explain that   
one's child was now a rodent?   
  
  
  
  
Next chapter: Draco becomes more comfortable being a little white ferret.  
Plus, more danger for Slytherin!   
  
  



	3. Insania!

The Best Ferret Ever!  
Chapter 3  
Saiyan Princess  
  
  
This is a longer chapter than the others. I hope you like it!   
  
  
  
Draco had a good sleep that night, without any attacks of pain. Madam Pomfrey  
was very happy for both her and Draco's sakes.   
"Sorry," she said, removing the old tape from Draco's legs. "I only have blue  
tape left. Well, I also have pink, but I doubt you'll want that."  
When she had finished attending to his limbs, Draco looked down. Now they   
really looked like polo wraps! He trotted around a little, testing his gaits.  
He was still sore, but the pain was not severe. Now he could focus on his   
hunger. He hoped Snape would come pick him up soon. His little ferret stomach  
was empty! When Snape did enter the infirmary, Draco was so happy that he  
involuntarily emitted a little squeak.   
"He slept all night," Madam Pomfrey reported cheerfully. "It's getting cold so  
I lined his crate with wool and put some fleece blankets in it."  
"He looks like he's feeling better," commented Snape as Draco leapt into his box.  
Draco stared at his teacher with anxious eyes. Come on, he begged mentally, I'm  
starving here!  
  
Draco was glad to have a warm crate in the freezing Potions classroom. He was  
slightly more relaxed now about other students seeing him as a ferret. When   
his Potions class came in, a few Slytherins approached the crate to say hi.  
The Gryffindors peered over, staring. A few giggled, but were silenced once  
class began. Draco felt strong enough to listen to Snape's lecture carefully.  
Soon, it was time for students to make their own potions.   
"Mr. Malfoy, would you like to watch this part? It's an important potion."  
Draco nodded and was taken over where a group of Slytherins were working.   
  
"Look," whispered Neville excitedly. "It's Malferret!"  
Ron and Harry looked over to where Draco lay on a desk, watching his fellow  
house mates. Hermione glanced too, but not out of amusement. She had never  
heard of the Animalis-Doloris potion. When Draco had been turned into a ferret,  
she had gone to the library, but the book needed was in the restricted section.   
Hermione's hand shot up.  
"Yes, Miss Granger?"  
"Professor, why are Draco's legs all taped up?"  
"That question is not only tactless, Miss Granger, but also irrelevant to  
today's lesson. Ten points from Gryffindor."  
  
"Hermione, that was mean," Parvati scolded as the Gryffindors left the  
dungeon.  
"It was not," insisted Hermione. "I was only trying to learn."  
"The Doloris must have done something to his legs. But really, who cares? It's  
Draco, people," Ron said. "If one of us were turned into a ferret, he'd be   
feeding us to his owl right now."  
"I still think Snape should tell us about the Animalis-Doloris potion. It's  
important now," Hermione complained.   
  
Snape was circling Hogwarts, hoping to find some wayward students and ruin  
their chances for receiving the House Cup (unless, of course, they were from  
Slytherin). The ground was frozen solid, but no snow had fallen yet. Draco began  
to make whining noises. Afraid that his student might be having another attack,  
Snape peered into the crate. Draco jumped out of his confinement, landing neatly  
at his teacher's feet.   
"Do you want to walk around a little?" asked Snape.  
The ferret nodded.  
"All right, but don't go very far. I need to be able to hear you if you have an  
attack."  
Draco nodded again and scampered off. Snape continued to look for victims.  
  
"Dumbledore's comin' o'er to see me today," said Hagrid, pouring tea for Ron,  
Harry, and Hermione. "Says I might be able to get some new creatures fer the  
class."  
"That's, umm, wonderful, Hagrid," said Ron, hoping it would be something tame.  
Suddenly they heard barking and shouting outside.  
"I wonder what Fang's found now?" mumbled the huge man, lumbering outside.  
  
The second Draco had looked up and seen the huge black boarhound, he'd known   
he was too far away from Snape, who had called for him twice already. Now he   
could feel the dog's breath on his back as he sprinted for his teacher. Snape was  
yelling at the dog, and now Hagrid was too. Snape realized there was no way to  
reach Draco in time. He pulled out his wand and fired a beam of light at the  
large dog. He struck the animal's shoulder. It yelped, but kept limping after   
the ferret.   
"Don't 'urt 'em!" cried Hagrid desperately.  
Ignoring the half-giant's wishes, Snape shot the dog again. This time, it fell.  
Draco finally reached Snape and sunk to the ground from exhaustion. His legs   
were burning now, and he was very relieved when Snape put him in his comfy   
crate. Hagrid, meanwhile, was kneeling beside his whimpering boarhound.   
"Yer 'urt 'em!" sobbed Hagrid accusingly. "Yer 'urt me poor little Fang!"  
"Your 'poor little Fang' tried to eat one of my students!" snapped Snape.  
"Fang was just tryin' to play," defended Hagrid. "It's what dogs do."  
"I don't care! Your idiotic dog should not be trying to eat students! We should  
have the leash law enforced here."  
"I agree completely."  
Snape, Hagrid, Ron, Hermione, and Harry whirled around to face Dumbledore.  
"I understand they sell ferret halters in muggle pet shops."   
The headmaster peered into the box Snape held. Draco had pulled one of the fleece  
rags over himself and was resting his aching limbs.   
"It seems to me, Mr. Malfoy," began Dumbledore, "that if you had simply come   
when your house leader had called you, none of this would have happened."  
The ferret shrank back.  
"Don't you think your actions were a bit rash, Severus?" asked Dumbledore.  
"What was I supposed to do?" yelled Snape. "Watch my student get eaten? I've   
already had to tell the Malfoys that their son is a ferret. Do you want me to  
have to tell them he became dog food too?"  
"Don't get upset, Severus," said Dumbledore. "I'm just saying that you didn't  
have to hurt the dog. You're usually more level-headed during emergencies. Are  
you feeling all right?"  
"I'm fine."  
"Really? Filch tells me you check in on the Slytherins quite frequently during  
the night. You must be tired."  
"It's no different from when we thought Black was here, or when the Basilisk  
was here. We patrolled then. My students are being threatened. I have to check  
in on them."  
"We'll have another staff meeting concerning this tonight. Now, you go get some  
rest. Minerva can watch Mr. Malfoy until dinner."  
"Really, I'm fine."  
"Severus, you need to sleep, end of conversation. Hand over the ferret."  
Snape reluctantly gave the box and a bottle of Anti-Doloris to Dumbledore.   
  
Draco hated Professor McGonagall, but not as much as he hated Hagrid. She set  
him on her desk.   
"Let me tell you now, Mr. Malfoy, that Doloris aside, I think you are getting  
exactly what you deserve. For once you cannot insult other students or staff."  
To prove her wrong, Draco pinned his ears back and hissed. McGonagall glared at  
him.  
"Don't hiss at me, Mr. Malfoy. I expect you to sit quietly throughout the class."  
Soon her third-years wandered in. They were Gryffindors and Ravenclaws. Once   
again, Draco had to tolerate the Gryffindors ogling and giggling. As the minutes  
passed, the pain in Draco's legs got worse, probably from running. Approximately  
a third through the class, Draco had an attack. McGonagall was caught off   
guard, and had to fish the potion out of her robe pockets, then find the note  
Snape had written telling her how much to give Draco, find the eyedropper,   
measure out the correct amount, and feed it to the now-trembling ferret. The  
pain, however, only faded a little bit, and came back just as strong ten minutes  
later. Draco was about to squeak for help when a student screamed. He had just  
turned his desk into a walrus. The girl beside him yelled and turned her pile  
of paperclips into moths. Chaos broke out everywhere. Draco realized he was   
never going to get McGonagall's attention in time. Fighting the pain, he crawled  
out of his box and jumped to the floor. The jolt from landing only increased  
the agony in his limbs, but he crawled on, out of the room, down the hall. He  
was headed for Snape's classroom, but then remembered that the Potions professor   
was resting. He turned and headed for the infirmary instead.  
  
Once McGonagall had everything under control, she returned to her desk, hoping  
to continue the lesson. She then noticed that Draco was gone.  
"Stay here," she ordered. "Don't touch your wands until I get back. Don't move  
a muscle."  
Draco had not gotten far. She found him unconscious at the end of the hallway.  
She muttered a word that she would never let her students use, and rushed off  
to the hospital ward with the ferret in her arms.  
  
"He's coming to now."  
Draco slowly woke up. Someone was dabbing his head with a damp cotton ball. He  
opened his eyes.  
"Hello there," said Madam Pomfrey softly. "You had a very bad attack. I told  
Severus not to let you over-exert yourself."  
"I don't know what happened," McGonagall moaned, knuckles to her lips.   
"From what you've told me," said Madam Pomfrey calmly, "I'd say he had another  
attack right when the chaos started, couldn't get your attention, and tried to   
make his way here."  
Draco nodded.  
"I'm going to keep him here. When Severus is done resting, tell him that Mr.  
Malfoy is here," the nurse added.  
McGonagall groaned. "Severus is going to kill me."  
  
She wasn't very wrong, either. He did not take the news well as they entered   
the dining hall.   
"You didn't notice he was having an attack?" demanded Snape incredulously.  
His attempt on McGonagall's life was cut short when a threat appeared near   
the ceiling.  
"Severus...it's dinnertime...do you know where all your students are?"  
Snape did a quick headcount. Everyone was there. He counted again to make sure.  
Everyone was there...except Draco! He was still in the infirmary! Snape and  
McGonagall (Minerva was feeling a little guilty), hurried to the hospital ward.  
  
When the two professors entered, a huge tiger was about to pounce on a tasty-  
looking little white ferret. Madam Pomfrey was helpless, paralyzed with fear.  
McGonagall changed the tiger into a cat, and left  
Hogwarts to relocate it. (It IS an endangered species, after all.) Snape took  
the frightened ferret back with him to the dining hall.  
"Well?" asked Dumbledore.  
"There was a tiger in the hospital ward. It tried to eat him," Snape explained.  
The room was very silent. Many of the Slytherins were near tears.  
"I don't want any of my students walking alone. You must be in groups of four  
or more, or with a teacher, no exceptions," ordered Snape firmly.  
The Slytherins nodded in agreement. This was one rule they weren't eager to  
break.  
  
"What do you want us to do, Severus? I know you're concerned about your students,  
but what do you think can be done?" asked Dumbledore.   
"Why hasn't there been any investigation?" demanded Snape. "If this happened  
to any other house, or if Harry Potter was suffering from the Animalis-  
Doloris potion, every teacher and prefect would be required to stalk the halls  
at night. No expense would be spared to find the person who poisoned him, and  
you know it!"  
"Severus, please calm down."  
"No! I will not allow my students to be killed!"  
There was an uncomfortable silence as all the teachers hesitantly glanced at  
Professor Sprout, who chewed her lip and stared at the table. After a moment,  
Dumbledore gently began speaking again.  
"I would suggest that you have all of your students sleep in their common room   
so they're all together. You may sleep in one of the spare rooms that are on  
that floor."  
"There aren't any there."  
"We'll make one. You'll be close by so you won't have to get up every other   
hour to check on them. I'll contact the Ministry and tell them what has been  
going on."  
"Contact them now."  
"All right, Severus," sighed Dumbledore.  
He lit a candle and placed it in the center of the table. He summoned Fudge,  
whose head soon appeared in the flame.  
"What can I do for you, Albus?"  
"Well, the Slytherin house has been getting threats, and one of our students  
was turned into a ferret with the Animalis-Doloris potion."  
"The Malfoy boy, right. We got a visit from a very angry Lucius Malfoy today.  
I daresay you'll be getting one soon too."  
"Has anything strange happened lately?"  
"Actually, yes, but it's important that the news not be reported to the press  
yet. Understand?"  
"Of course."  
"What about all your staff?"  
Fudge looked around at all the teachers, who mumbled their promises.  
"A little over two weeks ago, Moody was found to be missing. Two teenage boys  
admitted to putting Insania potion in his coffee. It was a very high concentration.  
That's all we know so far."  
"It has to be Moody!" claimed Snape. "He hates me, and my students, especially  
Mr. Malfoy."  
"Severus, if it is him, don't you have Anti-Insania?" asked McGonagall hopefully.  
"Yes, but we have to catch him first."  
  
Snape returned to the Slytherin House, where his students were waiting for him.  
He told them that Moody was suspect, even though Dumbledore had told him not to.  
Upon hearing the old man's name, the Slytherins immediately agreed that Moody   
was probably the one threatening them.   
"Now," Snape began, "You're all going to sleep in here, the common room, for  
safety." He paused to conjure up a bunch of green sleeping bags. "You're going  
to sleep in a circle-like formation. First-years, you sleep in the middle of the  
circle."  
The eleven-year-olds were glad to hear that. They grabbed sleeping bags and gathered  
in the middle of the common room. Older students started moving furniture against  
the walls. The second-years were also in the middle, and the higher years grouped  
around them. Snape put Draco's box with the seventh-years. After the tiger, he  
was not keen on leaving Draco with just the nurse. Soon, everyone was settled  
down.  
"I'll be in this room," Snape told his students, pointing to a new door. "If   
anything happens, or if Mr. Malfoy has an attack, just knock. As a warning, I  
will put female students on one side of the room and males on the other if   
there are any 'problems.' Goodnight."  
  
  
  
  
Next chapter: The tables have turned and now Draco is being picked on! The   
Malfoys come visit their son, and the search for Moody begins!  



	4. Malferret!

The Best Ferret Ever!  
Chapter 4  
Saiyan Princess  
  
  
  
Hi! I don't own anything in any of these chapters. I don't make any money from  
writing this. Actually, I don't make any money from writing anything because   
they don't pay you for rejection letters. Sigh. If they did, I'd be rich!  
I really do like Ron, so don't get mad at me, Ron fanatics. He's my favorite   
character after Snape. ^_^ Odd combination...oh well! Enough blabbering, on  
with "The Best Ferret Ever!"  
P.S - I don't own any ferrets. I have a horse, three cats, a frog, six fish,  
a hermit crab, and a guinea pig, but no ferrets. I think they may be illegal  
where I live, like hedgehogs. Anyway, I hope my lack of ferret experience isn't  
too noticeable and offensive to all the ferret owners out there.  
I'm really done now.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Professor, does Malfoy count as a person?" asked Crabbe.  
"What on Earth do you mean?"  
"We need to go to the bathroom, but you said we could only go around campus in  
groups of four. There are three of us and Malfoy. Is that four?"  
"It's fine," Snape replied.  
The four students made their way down the hall, three on two feet each, one  
on four.   
They passed George and Fred on the way.  
"Hey, Malfoy, get Snape to shrink a rider and you're all set for the 2004   
Equestrian Olympic Team!" called out George, referring to the "polo wraps"   
on Draco's legs.   
Draco pinned back his ears and kept walking. He wanted to yell out some insult  
concerning the twins' economic status, but couldn't. On the way back from the  
bathroom they passed yet another impoverished redhead, Ron, along with Harry.  
This was the first time Draco had been seen up and about Hogwarts, and Ron just  
couldn't resist.  
"Behind you, Malferret! It's Fang!" he yelled.  
Draco hissed angrily, causing Ron to laugh. Seconds later, however, he was   
screaming. Draco had attached himself to Ron's ankle. Ron yelled and swore and  
hopped around, kicking all the while. But Draco was angry and kept his teeth  
and claws firmly planted in Ron's flesh. After a minute, Draco released his  
prey and quickly dodged Ron's foot to rejoin the safety of his friends.   
Students were laughing. The redhead was seething now. He approached Draco,   
but the ferret held his ground. When Ron reached for him he hissed, showing   
off his sharp teeth.   
"You horrible little rodent, I'll teach you to--"  
Ron was interrupted as Draco lunged at his hand. The boy stared at the ferret  
for a few moments, then backed down, walking away and mumbling threats.   
The Slytherins cheered for Draco and taunted the intimidated Ron as he left.  
  
Later that day Draco was resting in Snape's office after an attack.   
"Don't worry," Snape told him. "You'll feel much better next week."  
He was down to one mild attack in the day, and one in the evening. Snape and   
Madam Pomfrey agreed that once Draco went an entire day without problems, he   
could start going to his classes again. In the meantime, other Slytherins   
were taking notes for him and going over them with Draco in the evening.   
Snape was grading essays. For a few minutes, Draco listened to the sounds of   
the quill on the parchment and tried to guess what grade was being written   
down, then lifted his head to check. C's were easy, and he was becoming   
fairly accurate, but Snape told him to rest. Draco was just about to doze off  
when the door to Snape's office exploded open.  
"Where's my BABY?" a woman's voice screeched.  
The Malfoys had arrived. Mrs. Malfoy ran to Snape's desk and scooped up her   
son.   
"Careful with him," admonished Snape irritably. "He just had an attack."  
Mrs. Malfoy gently rocked the white ferret. Mr. Malfoy entered and stared at   
his son, gaping. Finally, he could speak.  
"How is he?"  
"He's doing well. He's having fewer attacks now. In a few days he'll be fine."  
"Why are his legs bandaged?" cried Mrs. Malfoy.  
"Doloris primarily targets limbs and the chest. The wraps help him walk more  
comfortably."  
Dumbledore entered. Mr. Malfoy's face turned red.  
"You!" he yelled. "How could you allow this to happen?"  
"Don't worry," said Dumbledore calmly. "An investigation is now taking place."  
"Do you have any leads?" demanded Draco's father.  
"We are not allowed to discuss suspects yet."  
Mr. Malfoy's face became even more red, incredibly so. He began yelling at   
Dumbledore who remained very calm. Mrs. Malfoy wept, cuddling the ferret.  
Usually, Draco would have loved seeing his father rant at "Bumblebore," but   
he was tired, even groggy now, and his sobbing mother was getting his fur all  
wet with her tears while managing to bump every one of Draco's tender legs.  
He turned his head towards Snape with desperation in his eyes. Please help me,  
his eyes begged, this woman's a pain.  
"Your son needs rest," Snape said suddenly.   
The yelling and crying stopped for a moment.  
"He just had an attack fifteen minutes ago. He should be sleeping. It will   
help him recover faster."  
"But he needs us now," protested Mrs. Malfoy. "How could sleeping now help?  
Can't he sleep a little later?"  
"I have the study right there," Snape told her, indicating a file cabinet.   
"But...I rarely see him," Draco's mother argued, holding the ferret closer.  
Draco squeaked as her arm pinched one of his hind legs.   
"What did I do?" she asked in alarm.  
"You hurt him. Be careful of his legs. Just give him an hour of rest. You'll   
be done talking with the headmaster by then," pressured Snape.   
Mrs. Malfoy reluctantly handed her son over to Snape, still hurting his legs.  
Draco made sure she realized this by squealing angrily until Snape had him  
and was holding him properly. He was placed in his box, which he loved very   
much. If there was one thing he was going to miss when he could be turned   
back into a human, it would be his comfy, secure box.   
"Why don't we go up to my office?" suggested Dumbledore.  
The Malfoys followed the old wizard out of the room, and Draco drifted off to  
sleep, listening to Snape's writing quill mark C's, D's, and F's on the  
Gryffindors' essays, and later move on to the B's and A's that signaled the  
Slytherins' essays were being graded.  
  
The Malfoys ended up leaving in a huff, promising to get rid of Dumbledore if   
the guilty one was not found soon. By the time Mrs. Malfoy had finished   
sobbing her goodbye, Draco was not at all sorry to see them leave. His mother  
had suggested that he come live with them until he could be human again.  
"We could get you a little satin pillow," his mother had suggested. "And a   
jeweled collar. Wouldn't that be precious?"  
Snow still hadn't come, so he and a group of Slytherins wandered outside.   
A couple of first-year Gryffindors passed them.  
"It's Malferret," one whispered.  
"You idiot," the other whispered back. "He ripped up Ron Weasley's foot and  
nearly took off his finger."  
"That's a lie."  
"No, it's not. I heard it from a Hufflepuff third-year."  
If ferrets could smirk, Draco would have. Even students who would never ever  
root for Slytherin, the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, had been making fun of   
Ron that day. Not even the Gryffindors spared Ron, especially his brothers,  
who kept jumping out at him from behind corners and yelling, "Ron! A ferret!  
Run!" Draco knew he had to keep an eye out for George and Fred Weasley. They  
disliked him, and loved practical jokes. Now being a ferret, he was at a  
dangerous disadvantage.   
"Draco, you look worried," Pansy commented.   
Using his claws, he scratched, "W twins might make probs."  
"Don't worry about them," Pansy reassured. "They wouldn't dare do anything to  
you. We Slytherins are hanging out together more than ever now. They couldn't  
do anything with us all in a big group."   
  
"It's not fair!" growled Ron, cleaning the cuts on his ankle. "He's a ferret.  
A FERRET, for crying out loud, and he still gets to pick on me!"  
Harry cleared his throat. Ron had actually been the aggressor, but he wasn't  
sure he wanted to tell his friend that right now.   
"He should be a damn pet shop!" Ron continued. "I wonder if I can get Fred and  
George to swap him with a real ferret? That would be funny."  
  
That night, the Bloody Baron kept watch over the sleeping Slytherins while   
Dumbledore and the four Heads of the Houses held a last minute meeting.   
"We'll search the halls as best we can," said Dumbledore, "but if Moody is the  
culprit, he'll be hard to catch with all his experience, and his magical eye."  
Flitwick and McGonagall were not thrilled to be up late at night to  
help Snape's house, and McGonagall even told him so.  
"This is ridiculous. The Slytherins are safe for now. The Insania, if that is  
what happened, will eventually wear off. This is too much," she complained.  
"We have gone to extreme lengths in the past to protect a single Gryffindor   
boy," Snape retorted coldly. "I don't think trying to protect a forth of the  
school is too much."  
McGonagall, or anyone else for that matter, couldn't reply. The only answers   
would be to say that Harry Potter was more important than a forth of the   
school, or that Hogwarts would be better without the Slytherins anyway, but   
no one was going to tell Snape either response, even if they believed it.  
Professor Sprout had never liked the Slytherins, but wouldn't wish the death  
of a student on anyone. The five split up and began looking, each with a   
bottle of Anti-Insania that would work if it made contact with skin. Flitwick   
looked sadly at his bottle as they left. I do hope I'm not the one to find   
him, he thought, I'm so short I could never reach his face or arms.   
  
After hours of searching, nothing was found. Sprout, McGonagall, and Flitwick  
went to bed, while Snape and Dumbledore spoke.  
"McGonagall's right, Severus. How long will it take for the Insania to wear   
off?" asked the headmaster.  
"A month."  
"It's been over two weeks already."  
"Which means that the potion will be most powerful next week."  
"Oh. Well, we'll keep those children safe. We can persevere."  
Suddenly, words appeared on the ceiling.  
"Don't you find it ironic, Severus," they read, "that you're hunting me now?"  
  
Most of the Slytherins sat straight up when Snape entered the common room.  
"You should be sleeping," he scolded.   
"What happened?" a student asked.  
"We're fairly certain it's Moody. There was another message that   
hinted that it is he. Dumbledore agrees that it probably is Moody under the  
influence of Insania, but he also warns that it could be someone pretending to  
be Moody."  
The students, who all hated Moody, muttered angrily and lay down. Draco was   
thinking how much he would like to tear Moody to little shreds. The half-sane  
Dark Arts Defense professor had turned him into a ferret for the first time the  
year before, and had injured him. He had routinely taunted Snape, as well as   
the elder Mr. Malfoy.   
"Wouldn't it be satisfying if a huge boa constrictor wrapped itself around   
Mad-Eye Moody and slowly crushed him to death?" a seventh-year wondered aloud.  
The other students laughed a little.  
"After seeing Malfoy 'tell off' that horrid Weasley today, I think we should sic  
Draco on him."  
"Yeah, Draco, bite off the rest of his nose."  
"Chew through his wooden leg."  
"All of our owls could attack him on command."  
"Toss him in a snake pit."  
"You mean a looney bin, or literally?"  
"Either way is fine with me!"  
"I'd like to steal that eye of his."  
"I wonder why he isn't in a snake pit -- the figurative one."  
"Because of idiots who think he's a hero."  
"We should turn HIM into a ferret!"  
"That would be funny. Think of the things we could do to him if he were a   
ferret!"  
"We could beat him up just like he did to Draco."  
"Seems fair."  
"Mad-Eye, the bouncing ferret Auror."  
"If he were a ferret, we could toss him to Hagrid's Hippogriffs."  
"I think it would be suiting to feed him to a snake."  
"Imagine this: Dumbledore asks where Mad-Eye is, while there's a huge snake in  
the corner with a big lump in its belly."  
The talk continued like that for awhile. Snape stood at his door, unsure if he  
should tell them to settle down, or if the talk was actually therapeutic by  
helping them ease their fears. He let them fantasize for a bit longer before   
quieting them.   
  
Draco woke up a dull ache in his legs that was starting to get sharper. He knew  
an attack was coming, so he nudged Goyle with his nose. The large boy didn't   
wake. He gave up and made his way through the sleeping bags. Pansy rolled over  
and nearly crushed him. After glaring at her sleeping form, a sudden jolt of  
pain spurred him on. He got to Snape's door and squeaked at it while clawing   
the wood. He finally heard movement inside, and soon Snape appeared. He gave   
Draco the medicine, and after a few moments' rest, the ferret was on his way   
back to the pile of Slytherins. The floor was very cold, Draco noted with  
displeasure. The attack hadn't been bad. Had it been a little less severe, he  
could have waited it out. Suddenly, something struck him hard in the side   
and he flew across the room, striking the wall and landing on the stone. The  
wind was knocked out of him. A very familiar, very disliked voice spoke   
tauntingly. "I'd be careful, laddie. Not even that important father of yours   
or your Head of House can help you all the time."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Uh-oh, Draco! What's going to happen to you now? Can you guess who just kicked  
our little furry protagonist? If so, but it in the reviews. Don't worry   
Draco fans, your hero will be feeling much better soon...if he survives   
this encounter! Or, will the title have to be changed to "The Best Dead Ferret   
Ever!"? (Evil laugh, little white ferret scurries to safety.)   
More to come!  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
